Wednesday, January 21, 2009

hint of lime

It is hard to take low-light shots without a tripod, but my wife was at the wheel, and I redeemed the time by taking this shot of a commuter train to show movement. I like these moving shots, and plan to do more... with and without a tripod.

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This may not be the smoothest segue, but I'm going from the photo of something green, which is not exactly lime green, to something lime, which is not exactly lime green. Did you catch that? Anyhoo, the following is an interview from my friend, who is called... Lime.

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1. Since I am a fan of Mike Rowe's Dirty Jobs, what is the dirtiest job you've ever done?

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I've never had a dirty occupation per se, but there have been many disgusting tasks I've performed. Back at the Craver house, the dirtiest jobs all go to me... cleaning gutters, rodding sewage, cleaning gross spills, heinous baby and pet discharges, etc., but the worst was probably the one time in my young teens, when I was playing Spin-the-bottle and I kissed a girl right on the mouth. Sure, it's a dirty job, but somebody's gotta do it!

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2. What skill do you wish you had and why?

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Human flight-- like superman. C'mon, is an explanation really necessary here? That would be so cool!!! But if that's too "lofty," I have a backup answer...

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"You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills." (From Napoleon Dynamite.) .

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3. I was just elected President and I am expanding the federal government by creating new departments. What new cabinet position shall I create for you?

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I should like to chair the department of simultaneously shrinking the federal government, by dissolving any programs I deem useless, wasteful or just plain wrong. I could do our country a lot of good, by addressing programs one at a time, armed with a big rubber stamp that says, "You are the weakest link. Bye-bye."

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4. You can have one meal every day for the rest of your life. What is it?

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PB&J. I think I could seriously do that. Of course, I would not have regular milk, since I'm lactose intolerant. I would need to wash my meals down with that lactose free stuff. What a great invention!

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5. An evil mastermind is going to destroy the world unless you can stop him. You are armed with a spoon, a rubber chicken, a can of aquanet, and a bucket of peanuts. What is your plan?

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Oh, that's too easy!!! Since evil masterminds can't resist monologues, I wait until he begins, then I cause a distraction by flipping the bird (the chicken of course!) and while everyone is momentarily taken aback, I use the spoon to flick peanuts to wipe out his minions, making sure I aim carefully, as I intend to eat whatever's left, then spray the aquanet in his face, emptying the entire contents. Overturning the empty peanut bucket on his head, I bang away with the empty aquanet canister until he concedes his defeat.

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I hope I get to keep the chicken when I'm done.

7 comments:

lime said...

ok, you are the first to post of the 6 (so far) who have asked to be interviewed. let me get out my gold stars and give you one for efficiency!

the phrases "rodding sewage, heinous baby and pet discharges" never made me laugh so hard.

you quoted napoleon dynamite...."sweet!"

you managed to shrink the federal government despite my nefarious plan to bloat it further.

and your dispatching of the villian cracked me up.

you're hired! i can only pay in monopoly money unfortunately....

Craver Vii said...

They were great questions Lime!

nAncY said...

good night shot

Every Square Inch said...

Love the questions...and your really funny answers. I love question # 5 and the corresponding answer!

Daniel said...

I like the shot of the train.

The question about the dirties job made me think about the time I used to work at jiffy lube changing oil.

It was a a greasy job. I remember my hands were always oily.

Suldog said...

I've got to tell you, your answer to #5 is much more efficient than mine was. On the minus side, you don't have as much possibility for fun with the rubber chicken.

Great job.

david mcmahon said...

I never use a tripod, Cravermeister. It's more fun that way.