ruined

I'm a little bummed about harsh comments here and at a co-worker's blog. Usually, I would not let other people's comments bother me, except that this time, I caused them, and possibly drove a wedge between this coworker and myself. That ain't right.

.

Flipping through archived pics, I found this one that I took in late October.

------------

It was a most pleasant afternoon. The autumn sun shone bright, providing a warm complement to the day's cool breeze. Reports of deer drove me deeper into the conference center's walking path with my camera. As I crunched over the fallen leaves, I knew it would have been a rejuvenating walk whether or not I found any subjects to photograph. I did. It was almost surreal to be in that place of pure contentment. I took my time and soaked it all in.

.

Then this cigarette snapped me back to reality. All of the sudden, somebody's carelessness marred what would have been a perfect experience! This piece of litter did not belong in that place, and now my nature walk was ruined. That trash wasn't part of the man made rustic beauty in the skillful brickwork, and it certainly wasn't an element of nature that I came to experience. Deep down, I resented the culprit who vandalized this sacred place and every other litterbug as well.

.

Where do I go from here? For all I know, that "litterbug" could have been a preoccupied employee who was treated unfairly. Maybe a parent who is at their wits end from a rebellious child or concerned over a sick relative. Perhaps it was somebody who doesn't care about anybody else, but I couldn't know that, could I? So I snapped a photo and walked away.

.

You know, sometimes I treat people the way I want to be treated, and sometimes I ignore kindness and demand that a thing be fixed or paid for. Sure, there's a time to stand up for what is right, but sometimes I just need to lighten up. After all, I will be judged by the same measure that I use to judge others... and I always prefer being treated with grace and mercy. Plus, I need to stay aware that my actions... good, bad or indifferent, are going to be a reflection of the church. (Ooh, that's scary.)

.

That October nature walk wasn't ruined; it was a lesson that I needed to hang on to.

.

Today I find that I want kindness even though I was slow to dispense it. Does that make me a hypocrite? Maybe it does. Or maybe it just makes me human.