Thursday, August 09, 2007

suite dreams

A few close friends are visiting the Philippines right now. I hope they rest well at night. I probably don't need to say it, but it's no Holiday Inn. Man, it's so warm and muggy and the "beds" are different. They have no air-conditioning and probably aren't used to those sleeping conditions. I was there once. Daily hard work will make it a little easier to rest, even if they have to sleep on a wooden board like I did.

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I told you that story to tell you this one.

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It was probably fifteen years ago. I can't remember what I was dreaming about, but I was sound asleep. So was Mrs. Craver. All of the sudden I was punched real hard in the stomach by my dear sweet petunia. I was completely awake now, and looked at her, waiting for some kind of explanation, simultaneously realizing that I could not inhale. She knocked the wind out of me!! People, I had no idea what I had done to deserve such a thing, and she was not playing... she was visibly upset.

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Finally, she decided to cue me in on the reason for the gut-punch. She said she dreamt that I was cheating on her. (It was only a dream.) Well, I guess a dream can be disturbing, so I laughed a little.

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It turns out that was the worst thing that I could do. Now, she was really upset, because in her dream, when she confronted me, that's exactly what I did.

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It was a DREAM! I never did ANY of that stuff! All I can say is that even if I did not have a shred of integrity, I would not cross the line for fear of what she might do to me in my sleep.

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Okay, I'm done. I think that's all the hitting stories.

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Image by: Imhaya

29 comments:

Lifelong Learner said...

OK. Here's a punch story on me. My future sister in law was visiting and sleeping in my room. My brother took her to see Raiders of the Lost Ark, and there's that snake scene. Well, she hates snakes. So guess what she dreamed about that night. Yeah. And guess how hard she was fighting those snakes in her dream that night. I got whacked right in the nose. She never knew it until the next morning. I knew how to pray specifically for my brother after that. ha!

Halfmom, AKA, Susan said...

No more punching stories about sluggo - or her big sister will have to defend her and slug you twice - once for each of us - the girls have to stick together.

Thank you for your comments tonight - brief though our time to chat was - your sensitivity to anothers response to your blog comment was greatly appreciated - it is always good to know that God works all things after the counsel of His will - no matter how we intended them or how another receive them - His objective is our good and His glory - so we'll just keep praying through the particular situation we were discussing together

L.L. Barkat said...

The interesting thing about dreams is they come out of us. So there's some kind of truth there (even if it wasn't a truth about You). So, uh, does your wife ever hit anyone else? Just wondering. You know, in case we ever meet.

Anonymous said...

C'mon, dear hubby, tell the whole story!

What my dear husband failed to mention was that I was still in the sleep mode . . . I was half asleep when I hit him. I didn't know what was really happening. So when he asked me if I remembered anything that morning, I didn't and he explained. Even though I thought it was funny, I did apologize.

I love you, knucklenuts! :)

ha!

donsands said...

Dreams can be oh so real at times. I've had some bad dreams, that kept me thinking, even after I woke up. I hate bad dreams, but I like the good ones, or the crazy ones.
My brother has dreams, and they are all from God, and then he interprets them for you.

I did get punched in the stomach by my Dad one morning back in 7th grade while I was sleeping, which woke me up, and I was staring straight at some test papers I had forged with my Mom's name, which I forgot to get rid of, and my father found.
So that was a well desevred punch in the stomach.

GreekGeek said...

There's a great Ben Folds song, Trusted, in which he looks at his sleeping wife who's "curled in a ball like she's hiding from me and that's when I know she's gonna be pissed when she wakes up for terrible things I did to her in her dreams..." I played it for some married friends and they laughed in identification... it usually appears to be the wife, though, who wakes mad at her husband -- is this really the case? sometimes dreams are just way to real and vivid for our own good...

Craver Vii said...

So Stacy, has your sister-in-law lived up to your expectations?

No, you want to be nice to me Susan, because if you make me run, my knees will hurt and then you will feel very sad. On second thought, since you have had some injuries, I wonder if a battle between us would look like slow motion. The display of screaming, shin-kicking and hair-pulling would be totally inappropriate. And that's just me, because I don't know what your fighting style is like.

She wouldn't ever hit you, LL. She doesn't hit anybody else. But she might get a chair and cup of tea and sit with you to watch the scuffle between me and Halfmom.

Craver Vii said...

Psst... Mrs. Craver... **blushing**
I told you not to call me that. :-)

Craver Vii said...

Sandman, I'm not sure what to think about your brother's dreams. Tangent alert: I can't stand it when I have one of those dreams where I solve a major conundrum. At first, (while I'm still half-asleep) it all makes sense, and I feel like I'm ready to join MENSA. But as I make the transition to full alert status, the fragments of memory dissipate, leaving me without any recollection of the genius invention or whatever it was. **sigh**

Your story made me think of my own dad. He says he regrets some things from my childhood. But I love my dad. He and Mom are still married, and we all have a great relationship. Today's dads can't do the same things that the fathers of previous generations considered normal. But he took me, and successfully guided me to becoming a responsible man. I have nothing but the utmost respect for him.

Ha! Yo, Greek Geek, I saw your Simpsonized picture. Here's mine.

You know, I think the Ben Folds song is funny, but he said something interesting: "If you can't trust, you can't be trusted." That doesn't apply here. Mrs. Craver's unhappy thoughts probably ended up somewhere in the ether of my brilliant sleepy concoctions. She does not stay angry over things done by my devious doppelganger.

Lifelong Learner said...

She's a hero of mine. :)

Halfmom, AKA, Susan said...

girl fighting indeed - I may be quite a bit older than you, young man - and held together with screws, sutures, bailing twine and duck tape - but once I give you the "look", you'll be on your knees begging for mercy before I have to throw the first blow!

I am the mother of 4 and halfmom to a kazillion more - I have the "look" perfected to drop you in your tracks - besides, sluggo will be on my side, rooting for me, not you!

lorenzothellama said...

Hi Craver! Dreams can be so real. Sometimes I wake up with tears running down my face and into my ears!

Thanks for the comments on my blog.
You can buy ready made wormeries. If you click onto the little ad. on top on the posting, they tell you all about them and about composting as well, although the real reason is they want to sell you some Garotta!

Worms just seem to arrive in the heap. They eat their way through the vegetation and then crap it out the other end (if you'll excuse the expression, there is no ladylike way of putting it!). This is one way the heap breaks down as well as the chemical process brought about by the heat.

Sometimes when I turn a heap, which is a wonderful thereputic thing to do, I am amazed at the size of the worms!
Love Lorenzo.

lorenzothellama said...

Craver, I've just re-read your comment again.
Composting isn't really an exact science! Just put anything vegetable on it, but I avoid putting cooked food as it encourages mice and rats. Raela doesn't put eggshell on her's for the same reason, but I do, but I do crush them first.
I don't really think brown and green have to be mixed in equal parts. If a lot of lawn clippings are put together they can get a bit slimy so I tend to spread them around over various heaps as they go off very quickly and it makes the heap look pretty with a green top!
I shove any and all weeds in. They usually rot down ok and if a few weed seeds do germinate, they are easy to pull out when they are little.
Good luck with the heap, they are such FUN!
Lorenzo.

david mcmahon said...

G'day, Craver,

I always knew you'd be a big hit with Mrs Craver!

donsands said...

"Sandman, I'm not sure what to think about your brother's dreams."

My brother, who is ten years older than me, is a Benny Hinnite.

His dreams are equal to God's Word. Even his writings are equal to Ezekiel's he told me. The Holy Spirit gave him the words to write, just as He gave Ezekiel words to write.

That's my crazy brother. I love him, but we don't see one another very often.

It would be like Benny Hinn and John MacArthur being together.
Not much to talk about concerning the Lord.

Anonymous said...

You need to work on your abs. Lots of crunches and sit ups. It is the only defense you have

23 degrees said...

So, we hear the story of you traversing the jungles of the Philippines and sleeping on a board (to let us know how tough you are) only to tell us a story about getting beat up by a sleeping girl?

Oh man! ;]

(Great story, thanks for being so vulnerable, er, I mean open.)

Lock the knife drawer!

Unknown said...

Craver,
My youngest woke up and thought he had left his swimming trunks on...wet, lol. That was NOT the case.

Hubby is always cracking me up. He talks and does all sorts of crazy things in his sleep...looking for a bat, knocking on the ceiling....

Too funny!

Cuckoo said...

Ha Ha.. that was quite an interesting one !!

And oh my ... you blushing on being called Knuck...??

I once saw my airplane blowing up in the middle and instead of worrying I started enjoying the clouds. The full account is here.

Deborah Gamble said...

Mrs. Craver is my hero! She has got your relationship in check and I love it!

Craver Vii said...

Stacy and Deborah, believe me, she is my hero as well! I am so thankful for her.

So, this weekend Halfmom walked right up to me and said, "This is for Mrs. Craver." Then she punched my arm. Normally, this is where I would say something like, "How cute." But there was a man standing a short distance away. He was holding a set of keys in his hand. The tremor from Susan's punch make his keys jingle!

Lucky for me, there was no kryptonite in the vicinity. I hope she didn't hurt her purdy little hands. (Seriously Tex, if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't have believed you could generate such an impressive whallop.)

Thanks for the tip LtL. I understand that it is also helpful to pour beer on compost, because the yeast helps boost the bacteria that er... digests the grass clippings.

Gentlemen (David McMahon, Sandman, Mike and 23-d), thanks for backing me up, Brothers. She has apologized for that episode, even though she was not fully awake at the time, and I don't really hold her accountable for it. Just pray it never happens to you.

Oh Eve, I'm afraid to ask for more details about the swim trunks dream. Maybe I should just leave it alone and walk away.

That was a really funny dream Cuckoo. Believe it or not, I think I can identify with the lament over not being able to finish reading the magazine article on account of the disaster. Now I have a funny one for you: I once read a book about a plane crash... while flying in an airplane! It seemed to heightened my senses of the story as well as the plane ride.

lorenzothellama said...

Craver: I've never heard about pouring beer onto a compost heap. Sounds a wicked waste to me! Is the yeast still alive in beer? I would have thought that the alchohol would have killed it all off. Like you, I'm not a scientist. I do everything by instinct. If it feels right I do it .. if it doesn't then I don't.

I know I'm going off the point a bit here, but there is a wonderful book called 'Birds Without Wings' by Louis de Berniers. (he also wrote Captain Correlli's Mandalin).
There is a section where the Imman is giving advice to one of his friends on 'sin and conscience'. He talks about 'a wavering in the soul'. His friend replies 'I feel a great wavering in my soul'.

Those words really hit home as
this is exactly how I tend to act in life. I suppose I should have put it on my own blog, but didn't think about it at the time!
Lorenzo

the verification word today is:
oidood !!

david mcmahon said...

G'day Craver,

When we meet, we must NOT introduce Mrs Craver to Mrs Authorblog!

Ted M. Gossard said...

What I'm afraid of now is that I'll start remembering my dreams, or even worse, my wife will her's or have a similar one to your wife, and I'll be in for a haymaker.

spaghettipie said...

Thanks for the laugh on a Tuesday night! It's crazy how real dreams can seem or the silly things we do in them. I don't have any hitting dream stories, but one time early on in our daughter's life she woke up in the middle of the night, crying. My husband pulled the sheet off of himself and said he'd get her...but he didn't get out of bed. Instead, he just started patting his stomach. Pat, pat, pat. As if he was holding the baby already...To which my response was to hit him to wake him up. But I wasn't dreaming, that was fully conscious.

Anonymous said...

Even though Craver needs a "bonk" on the head for telling these stories, I really am a nice person!!

Craver Vii said...

Mrs. Craver, First of all, forgive me for calling you by that name, I'll try not to use it at home.

Do you remeber when that guest speaker asked us to list five things we were thankful for? Without hesitation, you were first on my list. You have been such a powerful blessing in my life, and it would be depressing to try and figure out where I would have been without you in my life. That's why I list you as one of my seven cravings.

To everyone else, let's be clear that the hitting thing is to be filed under humor. She does not make a habit of hitting, and our relationship is not fear-driven. I expect that's what we were all thinking anyway, but just in case, maybe I should come up with a better nickname for my wife.

(Don't anybody go bonking anybody else on the head.)

Anonymous said...

My DH has suffered along these lines as well. Poor fella.

I think I dreamed that he lied to me over something. So I thumped him.

Funny thing is that I can't punch when I'm awake... so how I managed a real close-fisted punch when I'm asleep, I'll never know!

Sorry - I did laugh at your pain on this one. Sympathy to you.

Anonymous said...

You are lucky that is all you got! If it were me you have been out of bed and on the bed.