deep thoughts

This kid is so funny! We're in the car and he says, "Dad, I think I know what I would want them to say for my eulogy." I said, "Really, Son? What's that?" He replied, "knock knock..."

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Here are some pics from the big snow we had last week.

Star Wars Talk to Your Kids PSA

Asylum puts some wild stuff out there, and I probably would not recommend or re-post a lot of it, but this one is different. Parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts... please pay special attention to this (ahem) important public service announcement.

trick or treat

This may come as a surprise to you, but I'm not into Halloween as much as other folks. It used to be so fun to dress up as one of the classic monsters. My favorite costume was a latex face mask for the Wolfman. It had multiple pieces, so that it moved realistically. These days, I am less likely to say an approving "cool," when I see lawn decorations, but instead wonder what is so great about prolific depictions of murder as a reason to celebrate. Yeah, yeah, call me a killjoy... whatever.

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Anyway, I heard that one of the characters from The Office doesn't like to dress up either. He wore a name tag that said, "Dave." When people asked what he was supposed to be, he'd point to the tag and say "Dave." Brilliant!! I dressed warmly, so that I could take the kids door-to-door, and I wore a name tag on my coat that said "Bob." That was especially fun, when we arrived at my neighbor's house, who's name really is "Bob."

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Afterwards, we took the kids to thaw at Brother Greg's house. He had a nice fire going. The doorbell rang, and since it was costumed children, my wife answered it. The conversation went something like this:

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Mrs. Craver: (wry grin) What do YOU want?

Children: Trick or treat!!

Mrs. Craver: Oh, you want candy??

Children: (giggling) Yes!

Mrs. Craver: (grabs big bowl of candy) Got it. Okay kiddos, they're a buck-a-piece...

Kids' Parents: (hearty laughter)

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Aah, I love that woman!

say hello

This post was out of line, as I picked on someone and it was not appreciated. I deleted the original post, but kept all of the comments for 'medicinal' purposes.

lighter than air

These two pics were taken within minutes of each other and probably less than a mile apart. Do you see two unrelated photographs? Not me. If I was the dude in that hang glider and saw the cannon down below, I'd be nervous. But that's just me.

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It's kind of slapstick, isn't it? If you laugh with me, does that mean that you're shallow? Not at all! I prefer to say that less complicated ways are light and positive. If I were a computer, I'd like to categorize us as user-friendly.

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And now, for a public service announcement: No recreational fliers (motorized or otherwise) were harmed in the making of today's post.

raptor rapsody

Dear friends, whilst reading yesterday's post, L.L. Barkat asked whether I was going to add bird watching to fishing as a pastime. Birds fascinate me... their ultralight skeletal structure, lung system, unique beauty, the way they find a lofty perch and catch spectacular views, and of course their ability to fly. I could go on, and on about why I like to observe birds! But I do not think I could develop a serious birdwatching hobby at the present, because of a couple things. First, there is the question of time. What would I cut into, to make time for birdwatching? (shudder) Second, I have a cheap pair of binoculars, and a book for identifying birds at home, but it would be so much easier if I went with someone who could "show me the ropes."

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Enter Billy, the seagull. He talks. I knew that some of you would be skeptical about the talking thing, which is why I provided photographic evidence.

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Billy knows a lot about fishing, and said that he could also show me where to look for birds, plus he has an insider's wealth of bird-knowledge. Can you believe my luck?!

good driver

The Craver minivan cruised along the interstate a few years ago in a dangerous, slushy, freezing blizzard. The wipers were going full speed. There were several times where the wind tried to change lanes for me, and I had to fight to keep our vehicle in the proper lane. It was dark outside, and I heavily depended on the other cars' lights to get a bearing on where the road turned. We had a long drive ahead of us, and I wanted desperately to drive faster, but the conditions just would not allow me to go any faster.

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I overtook a car in the other lane. As I closed the gap, and eventually pulled ahead, my son cheered from behind me. "We're number one! We're number one!..." I smiled.

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I little later, another car closed the gap and began to overtake US! The tables had turned. My son said, "Hurry up, Dad! They're going to win us!" "Son," I told him, "we're not out here to race; it doesn't help if I go faster and we end up in an accident. I just want to get home alive, okay?"

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The other car was right next to us now. As cheery as anything, S2 said "Okay, Dad." I maintained what I considered to be the best speed, under these conditions, and then the other car pulled ahead.

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With undiminished enthusiasm, he chanted, "We're number two! We're number two!" How cute, I thought. I grinned and laughed inside. But as reckless drivers ignored everyone's safety and continued to pass, he kept score, "...We're number nine! We're number nine!" it got old. I interjected a firm "Son, Daddy needs some quiet now..."

the edge

Like most people nowadays, I was taught that the horizon was a relative place. What I mean is, if you move towards an object appears to be at the very edge of the horizon, when you get there, you would find that it is not the edge at all. The horizon continues to move away from you.

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Or so I thought.

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Walking across a large field one day, I finally came to the edge. It is far, far away, but there is an edge. The prairie grasses end abruptly, and then there is only sky. I did not dare to move too close, for fear that I would fall off, but as you can see from the photo, when you look down from the edge, you just see more sky.

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The earth is round... like a pizza, but it is not a globe. I have found the edge! What a great discovery! They'll probably name a school or library after me.

Where'd she go?

[This is a follow up to last Wednesday's post, because Lime and Maggie May asked to see Donna's "babushka" pic.]

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This is like magic. First, we toss a napkin at Donna, and everything seems fine until we picks up the camera... POOF!! Donna disappears. I can't see her; can you?

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Donna is a super gal. I know her from church, and she is one of those people who I get a real boost from. It always feels good to hang around with Donna and her crew. I asked her real nicely, and she graciously gave permission to use her photograph. You would think that this lady is just a slice of heaven, so let me add this warning: Do not play cards with her if you have a fragile ego... she'll tear you up. I'm just sayin'.

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;-)

guzzling goslings

Just look at this! Can you believe these baby geese?! They're boozing it up and trashing my fishing spot. I blame the parents. Don't tell me they don't know what's going on.

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I deduced that the beer guzzlers MUST have been these goslings, because people would know better, right? I mean, humans are much too sensible to desecrate a place of tranquility and beauty. And besides, the proper removal of trash would be problematic for little bills and webbed feet, but no problem at all for a human being, so it is hardly thinkable that it would have been a person to leave this trash on that site. ...Right?

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I wish!

ufo

Oooh look! A UFO speeding away into the night sky! Methinks they abducted me and experimented with my brain, 'cause I had a whopper of a headache Monday. It hurt so bad, I left my friends' house before dessert! I'm all-better now though; thanks.

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Sunday night we went fishing for one and-a-half hours. I STILL haven't got a nibble, but the scenery was magnificent. I'm saving that photo for Sky Watch Friday. Yes... to date, I have never, ever caught a fish!

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Beautiful landscapes, candid portraits, baby birdies, pretty flowers, UFO's that look remarkably identical to CD-Roms... It's very rewarding to always carry my trusty old Mavica digicam.

time to remember

One of my kids had my camera, and I asked him to snap a photo of the clock on the wall because I didn't have my watch. That way, if someone wanted to know what time it was, I could just look at the image in my camera! Pretty smart, huh?

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Speaking of time, it's time to remember all those who have fallen while serving in our military. I'll be fishing in the morning, grilling in the afternoon, probably having popcorn and a movie at night, but remembering throughout the day. Their sacrifice is not forgotten.

Sky Watch Friday!

favorite dae of the week

I love a good sundae with billowing mounds of whipped topping! Shouldn't there be a cherry on top?! Let's see, what else for my ice cream?... Oh, how about warming up some peanut butter to drizzle over that? That's the ticket!

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(rubbing eyes) Oh, those are CLOUDS!! Nevermind then, because you won't find that much peanut butter or a big enough microwave.

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That black spot on the second image looks kinda like a tree, doesn't it? Actually, it's just a black spot on your monitor. The tree itself is still back here in Bolingbrook.

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Have a good one! (I've never been exactly sure what that means.) Wanna join Sky Watch this week? Visit Wiggers World.

invasion

They're coming. An army of yellow marshmallow peeps is being assembled, even as we speak. They are shameless and bold! Under the guise of cuteness, they do not even hide their marches and drills from unsuspecting civilians. I know better. These fluffy tennis balls are in fact bombardier poop machines, and their sole purpose is to unload their ammunition without mercy all over our walkways and indiscriminately speckle our motor vehicles. Worst of all, there is nothing you can do to stop them. Brace for impact!

fishbites

Look carefully. What do you see here? I see an aggressive little fishie attacking an unarmed man. Please, people! Be careful around ponds. Wear thick leather or rubber gloves and safety goggles. Now, as firearms tend to be frowned upon by law enforcement, you should probably carry a harpoon strapped around your shoulders. Who knows, but it may be you next. Thankfully, this man survived!

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Enjoy the outdoors this spring, but stay alert for tiny, but zealous fish that lunge out at unsuspecting people on the beaches.

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More helpful advice: (This was sent to me by email.) - Basic Flying Rules: "Try to stay in the middle of the air. Do not go near the edges of it. The edges of the air can be recognized by the appearance of ground, buildings, sea, trees and interstellar space. It is much more difficult to fly there."

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Leftovers tomorrow.

a laughing matter

You can improve your audience-responses by telling jokes and anecdotes to test subjects. As you can see, I successfully had these three listeners quacking up.

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Some years ago, I received a strange greeting from a bank teller. This young lady was my best audience; she thought everything I said was absolutely hilarious. When I walked into my bank one day, she beckoned to the other tellers and announced that I was very funny, and that they should listen to me. All of the sudden, I had EVERYBODY'S attention! ...in a BANK!

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(crickets chirping)

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What the heck was I supposed to do?!! I think I smiled, and said "ta-daa!" And then everybody laughed and went back to work. Sheesh!

vanishing act

As you can see, I'm learning how to make myself invisible. Now, before a silly person tries to explain how they THINK I did it, let me tell you that I did not take two separate shots without moving the camera, and I did not use the Picasa program's collage function to create a multiple exposure.

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No. My technique involves concentrating on something very, very dull and uninteresting. That, plus some pixie dust, and you can do the vanishing trick as well!

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The reason I want to be able to turn invisible, is so that people don't tense up when I approach them as photographic subjects. Plus, it's awkward when I take a long time to set up a shot. But if they never see me hovering with the camera, it doesn't matter, does it?

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I hope you don't mind that I am so casual and frank about telling you my thoughts on this. We have gotten to know each other a little bit, and I feel comfortable enough with you by now that I think I can be "transparent."

Sky Watch Friday!

goose poop

What a cool hallway! You can gaze upward at heavenly splendor and yet remain sheltered from the elements. It rained this week. A lot. Tuesday night, the rain was so heavy, I wondered whether I would survive driving in it.

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After I took this photo, a goose did a foul thing on one of the panes. Party pooper!

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Sky Watch Friday

egg hunt

What is this little boy doing? Why, he's hunting for Easter eggs of course! And those Easter eggs don't stand a chance!

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Friends, I hope you had an enjoyable Easter Weekend. As for me, I was enraptured by the overwhelming significance of the resurrection. Jesus did not merely "escape" his mortality; he died... and on the third day, he conquered death by his resurrection! In other words, death got spanked--big time!!

Brrrrrring on the ccccold!

It is really cold here right now. When I let the dogs out this morning, one looked up at me and asked if she could stay inside and pee on the carpet just this one time.

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I wore a smile that lasted the whole morning drive today. Do you know why? As I stepped outside my house, the sun made me squint, and the sub-zero windchill froze my face that way for almost an hour.

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It wasn't "snowing," per se, but light flurries blew across me, and some came close enough to see that they weren't single flakes, but rather, they were huddling together in pairs, because it was too cold to go alone.

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I'm not complaining about the cold, really. I love it here. But the sound of millions of peoples' teeth chattering is not as an endearing sound as summer crickets, you know what I mean?