alan haymaker

Downcast and heavy hearted, I am processing some shocking information.

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I drove to work Monday morning, knowing that the roads were slippery on account of new snow, but I took my time. I arrived to work twenty minutes late, which is very unusual for me, but they allow a "soft start" on days with heavy snow. That means we are allowed to take our time to get in safely, and we can make up the time later.

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The snow was heavy and the streets were slushy, but there was beauty all around. In the evening, I had to pull over a few times to set up a tripod and take pictures.

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Today I learned that yesterday morning's snow took the life of a friend of mine. He was a Chicago Police sergeant, responding to a burglary in the early morning.

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http://www.chicagobreakingnews.com/2010/02/accident-closes-southbound-lanes-of-lake-shore.html

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He was a fellow home schooler... that's how I knew him. He worked hard to keep people safe, and today he is safe in the presence of Christ. Still, I find myself weeping... it was too soon. It hurts to know he's gone. I can't even imagine how his wife and kids feel.

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All of the sudden, I find myself wishing yesterday's snow would just melt. It is not pretty to me any more. Instead, I want rain. Lots of rain to rinse these present landscapes, refresh my heart, and hide the tears. Please... let it rain.

good grief

A vet friend talked from his perspective about putting animals down. He thinks that people sometimes put it off too long because they want to spend more time with the animal they love. That is understandable, except that sometimes that means that the poor thing suffers a lot as it dies. I already knew from the bottom of my heart that it was time to say goodbye to Coco, but there was some comfort in hearing this from him. Euthanasia was the most humane option for my pet. Her daily suffering was obvious.

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The process was so peaceful. They gave us as much time as we wanted. When we were ready, they attached an IV. Then, while we were all in the room, saying our goodbyes, they injected an anesthetic into the IV. She felt a dreamy buzz, but only for a moment. The anesthetic quickly put her in la-la land, and she was completely oblivious to our presence. We said our very last goodbyes, and left the room as they put another solution into the IV.

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I honestly expected that I would be untouched by emotion through this. I never felt as close to this dog as to other pets we've had. But when I saw my family in tears, it tore me apart inside. I grieved in earnest because of their grieving.

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I have wondered what it's like to be with a person while the essence of life escapes and turns their body into a vacant shell. Last Friday reminded me that death is a profound mystery to me. Then I tried to wrap my mind around the mystery of life, and how things are sustained or even made alive to begin with! These meditations left me worshipping our marvelous Creator.

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"In him we live and move and have our being." Acts 17:28a

a sunset for coco

Former acquaintances bought a puppy to be their baby's companion. They were new to caring for babies as well as dogs, but I can see how they would think it was the thing to to. Fearing that the little nipper wasn't safe enough, they confined the poor dog to the basement. (That does not improve a puppy's socialization skills.) When they needed to take a trip out of town for a few days, they asked us to care for the pup. That's fine, but they never came back for her. Now we've had her for thirteen years, and before today is over, we will have put her down. I did not feel as close to this dog as the rest of the family, but among the wife and kids in the Craver household, tears will flow freely this weekend.

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Since this is the "sunset" of her life, I dedicate this photo to Coco's memory:

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reel to real

Movie superstar Sean Connery plays Alan Quatermain in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. In one scene, he is ambushed, but manages to get all the bad guys except one, who decided to make a run for it. Armed with a long rifle named "Matilda," Alan goes outside after him. As he raises Matilda, a bystander exclaims, "He's too far!" He's right. Alan's eyes are not as keen as they used to be, so he lowers the rifle, disgusted with himself.

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Baby boomers are getting old. Not me, though. I was born in '65, so that makes me... (counting) In dog years, I'm only six years old, dude!

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Does it seem like more and more movies are dealing with real life issues related to aging? I spent a few hours at a buddy's house on Sunday. We saw two movies.

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In Second Hand Lions, A couple of nasty old geezers refuse to grow old with grace and dignity. They fight to live life to the fullest. Great movie!

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Then we saw a Y2K remake of a 1959 movie called On the Beach. As a radioactive disaster wipes out the entire human race, we hang out with a submarine crew, heading to Australia, which is the last place on the planet to be destroyed. Knowing they will die, some people loot, some sleep around, and just about everyone commits suicide. I didn't care for this movie. It was completely devoid of hope.

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Both movies had a message about how to face the inevitable.

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Mrs. Craver asked what I thought about the euthanasia scenario in On the Beach. So, do you think YOU would do it?

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Alan Quatermain's eyes are not as keen as they used to be, so he lowers the rifle, disgusted with himself. Sighing, he grabs a pair of spectacles from from his shirt pocket. Calmly, he dons the glasses, takes aim and drops the bad guy. If it were anybody else, I wouldn't have believed it.

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Image by: mickle229

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Seasons of Life by Ted Gossard

Bet You Can't Do This by Shrink Wrapped Scream

dead bird

Am I morbid? I looked at this dead bird, and I felt sad… at first. I think the artist captured the emotion very well. She effectively communicates death in this watercolor. The painting evoked in me, an expression of concern. Yes, there was a twinge of depression for the dead bird.

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But I could not remain blue for the little bugger, because this portrayal of death was impersonal, not a friend or family. This poor little (imaginary) bird caused me to think about death in general, but what if this is not the end of the story? What if this is only a reminder of what happened (and stayed) in the past? Now my countenance could not remain heavy.

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This time, as well as many other times, the topic of death has served to remind me that for some of us, death is a foe that has been conquered. God did it for several people in the Bible, including Jesus’ friend Lazarus, and the most spectacular raising from the dead was when Jesus raised Himself. God is in the business of resurrections. Not just physically, so that death is temporarily delayed, but better, so that we may live eternally, and one day even enjoy a new, glorified physical body.

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Death happens. But when someone was already dead, and then raised back to life, imperishable… that’s front page news! That’s why I look at this painting and rejoice. I once was dead in my sin/transgressions, but God, in his incredible mercy and grace, chose to give me eternal life when I believed in Jesus Christ, His Son.

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I looked at that bird as it was… dead. Then, I imagined this picture, not as the end, but as a beginning. When you look at the smokey colors, what do you see? Is that life evaporating, or God’s breath of regeneration coming down? I choose to see that blend of colors as the anticipation of new life.

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Watercolor by Ester Wilson (Used with permission)