Wednesday, September 17, 2008

secret agent man

I don't go by my birth name here, and in Facebook (see sidebar), I'm so clandestine, I don't even use a real photograph of my humble mug. Someone asked me (in person) about this surreptitious persona I use in blogging, so I decided today to reveal a little bit more about my identity. I decided to show you where I work. This is it. I walked outside during a break and snapped a photo so I could show you. I love my coworkers. They're nice folks and they treat me better than I deserve. If this much disclosure is not enough, let's see what else I can tell you...

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You may also be interested in what I do. I raise giant hamsters for home/commercial security. These nocturnal creatures are ideal for many reasons. For size, I show this one compared to a horse. Imagine that you were a burglar and saw one of these giant hamsters. That's a potent deterrent!

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Okay, only half of this post is true, but I'm not going to tell you which paragraph I made up.

14 comments:

lime said...

when you raise the giant hamsters do you lift them over your head by your own strength or do you need a crane to lift them?

Craver Vii said...

That's a remarkably good question, Lime; I didn't think anyone would ask. Their physical structure is so blob-ish, that it is awkward and cumbersome to try to hoist them overhead with our arms, even for a man with bizarre, superhuman strength such as myself. Special giant hamster cranes are used these days, but when a harness breaks, we go back to the old way, which is to "gas them." We run helium through a tube to their muzzle until they are light enough to push around and lift without the negative effects of gravity.

Later, these gasses escape naturally, and we have a series of irreverent YouTube broadcasts depicting the process and our reactions.

NaNcY said...

agent VII,

the youtube broadcast sounds like a blast!


super cool, dude, i didn't know that you worked on top of a building next to a tree!


thanks for the comment about the photos on my blog page. the top one is of mt st helens, while landing, sunset time, last week; and the bottom one is of our house and some trees reflected in a big bubble.

Louise said...

I'm going to be UP ALL NIGHT wondering which paragraph you made up! %;-r

Did the person who asked you about your persona blog? I think I know more who don't use their real name than do! (Me, for one.)

dot said...

Sometimes I just don't know what to think of you and this is one of those times!

mommanator said...

I think you have too much time on your hands or took a silly pill, which one!?

lorenzothellama said...

Hello Craver. What's a cow worker?

I like little hamster very much.

Off to Turkey tomorrow sailing.

See you when I get home.

Stacey said...

Craver, you're a nut...cute hamster!

Craver Vii said...

"Agent Vii?" As in double "0" VII?? Shhhhh... Don't tell anyone. NaNcy that "Secret Agent Man" song has been running through my head since yesterday now.

Do your friends have a weird reaction Louise, when you try to explain the pseudonym? One young gal thinks it's creepy. She didn't say as much, but it's obvious from the look in her eyes. Oh well.

Yeah Dot, I know. It's just that when I looked at my most recent pictures, silliness prevailed.

It comes in a pill??? No Mommanator, I definitely do not have too much time. :-)

What do you call them 'Renzo, "office-mates?" Hmmm... now I wonder: should co-worker be hyphenated? Let me go with your sailing team. We can tie a big inflatable rubber duckie to the back of your craft and I'll mind my manners so that you'll hardly notice me there. I SO wish I could go sailing!

For a second there, Stacey, I thought you were calling me a cute hamster! Gee, that's hardly emasculating at all! I should maybe skip the salads at lunch and munch on a huge turkey leg instead. Oh, and I'll wear a big-ol Viking helmet, too. That ought to clear up that hamster stigma.

Cuckoo said...

Oh thank you for revealing so much about it. I appreciate it. :-)

Carletta said...

You don't use your own photo - whose do you use and do they know?

Now I'm sitting here wondering who I would be if I weren't Carletta. Hmmm...

Jules~ said...

You are funny. Gosh I will lay awake tonight trying to figure out which half of your story is true and which is false.
Helium gas huh? This I gotta see.

Mona said...

Of course we know. :D the horse is not real...:D

hibbyandhubby said...

Hmm, your work place looks suspiciously like my old work place...I think it must be a front for spies. Or secret agents.