that's strange

That's Strange

April 17, 2013

Fishing Guy chose "That's Strange" for this week's Headbanger's theme.  This is sure to be a whacky kind of fun!  Check out my  pals for their interpretations on this theme: Fishing  Guy, Katney, Imac and Lew.

What's the story behind this week's header?  Well, we had cookies at the office, and some of the brown sprinkles fell off.  I couldn't resist drawing on the napkin to share this twisted imagination with my cubicle mates.

She's perfect, but the expression tells you she thinks her grandpa is strange.

Some of us swim in the pool; others just take pictures of their feet.

A dragon on top to go with a Buddha hood ornament... perfectly normal, right?

I painted this in '82.  What can I say... I love surrealism!

Spilled coffee at work is the perfect excuse for staging a crime scene photo.

Does anyone else have a pet bee?

How about pet "goldfish?"

Awww.... now who doesn't love a good kung-fu fight at a wedding?

sky scraper

There is a timed floodlight on a building near my home.  It lights up the tree at eleven PM like daylight.  I have often thought about taking night pics here, and I finally brought the tripod and took this picture.  And do you know what I noticed?  Do you see the star near the top of the tree?  Well, I had never realized that this tree... is almost as tall as the stars.  Any taller, and it might poke, scrape or tear the night's velvety shroud.  ;-)

For the next thee weeks, I plan to cooperate with a few blogging friends in a header competition.  While this is technically called a competition, for me, it is more like a community event.  We five will submit a post and header around the same subject.  I was afraid I might not have time, so I have only said yes to doing this for three weeks.  I do not know if I will be able to continue after that.  If you have not visited their blogs before, would you please consider viewing their posts and leaving a comment?  More information will be posted a couple of days from now.

tricks and treats

I stayed home on Halloween and watched a movie with my kids instead of trick-or-treating.  When neighborhood children showed up at my door, I held out two bags from the freezer and offered the option of frozen broccoli or frozen green beans.  The stunned kids looked up in horror and mumbled "candy???"  My daughter pushed past me to save them with a big bowl of chocolate favorites.  As the giggling kids walked to the next house, I said goodbye and told them that if they come early enough next year, I might still have frozen brussel sprouts.  The tricked kids probably thought I was weird, but their parents got a good laugh out of it.  I'm sure my own kids wished they had thought of it first.

Brother Greg and S2 from 2009

While we're on the topic of tricks and treats, I have a new little toy.  It is a ring that screws on to the front of a lens, so that I can mount it backwards on my camera.  This backward lens trick is a neat way to boost your macro capabilities without buying a new lens.  I love it!  Here, you can see a closeup of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of a penny.  I should have looked for a penny that was not so worn, but I just didn't have the patience for that.

While I don't mind being labeled as a photography fanatic, I honestly try to exercise an appropriate balance with the rest of my life and responsibilities.  I saw an online video called The Calling of a Photographer by professional photographer David McLain.  In this video, he talks about the way photography passionately consumes him.  It is poetic and intriguing.  Nevertheless, I got the impression that some professionals might be absent too often from home, and that they're missing out on the greater glory, which is being a good husband and father.  Spooky, huh?

spouting off

Wow, the sun shone brightly today, and the views were stunning all around. This is Meyer Park, which is just East of our post office and across the street from our amazing new library.

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Someone told me that the water is shooting up because of a machine under the water. That's ridiculous! Who would believe such a preposterous notion? How do you plug in an electric machine under the water?! Or if it is allegedly gas powered, let me ask you this, what would happen to your car's engine if you submerged it under water? I'm not that gullible, people! No, I believe this to be a whale of some sort. Probably the beluga from Chicago's Shedd Aquarium enjoying a day in the burbs before he gets shipped off to do some work in Connecticut.

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If you are able to view our town's e-newspaper, you will see that I added my photo to the other shots of the park.

Cantigny

My work car needed new rear tires. I considered switching to this car.

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It comes with an intimidating security system.

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I can use that new car to tow my boat.

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Here is what we use for family transportation. The kids love it.

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"Dad, this is so cool, it'll blow your mind."

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The kids can fully recline to sleep on long trips.

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These pics were from a recent visit to Cantigny (pronounced kan-tee-nee). We toured the First Division Museum and hung around the tank exhibits for a while. Unfortunately, our batteries died before going to the gardens. I only took the first two pictures. The rest were taken by Mrs. Craver.

Diogenes

On a dare, I went to the grocery store like this. It feels funny at first, but as time passes, you forget about it. Every once in a while, you notice that someone is staring at you, or find an odd expression on a stranger's face. I was surprised to find that, for the most part, people acted as if it was completely normal. This is an age where tolerance is the highest virtue.

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It reminds me of The Emperor's New Clothes. I can not understand why people acted as if it was completely normal. Not that they had license to be rude, but they kept their murmuring to themselves, and stifled laughter if I made eye contact. Please, people... I stand at 5'7"; that's hardly intimidating.

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Finally, one older gent chuckled as he passed by. To that stranger I say, "Thank you, for your honesty." Between tolerance and honesty, I consider the latter to be the higher virtue. Hence, I respect him for that.

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I kept the tiger stripes until the following morning. It was good for a laugh, but I'm back to a plain goatee again.

Star Wars Talk to Your Kids PSA

Asylum puts some wild stuff out there, and I probably would not recommend or re-post a lot of it, but this one is different. Parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts... please pay special attention to this (ahem) important public service announcement.

bird joke

Humor can be a little complicated for some to pull off. Sure, it looks easy when you see it on television, catch Jim Gaffigan or Brian Regan on Youtube or listen to Bill Cosby LP's. This little Downy Woodpecker just does not get it.

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Woodpecker: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

Woodpecker: Knock knock.

Me: (sigh) Who's there?

Woodpecker: Knock knock...

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Aaaargh!!! Little woodpecker, don't quit your day job! I don't know, maybe the little guy was confused because I was using flash under this tree. I don't usually use flash for birds, but the background was too bright... unlike Woody here, who was NOT too bright. I kid, of course. this was a very smart woodpecker. As woodpeckers go, he was probably in the bird division of Mensa. Knock knock...

butterscotch

[Special thanks to Londine, who saw when I took this picture and urged me to post it. Londine is a faithful volunteer at the local food pantry. She is the kind of person you can always count on, and her work is deeply appreciated.]

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At first blush, one might guess that this is a Red-tailed Hawk. But a more careful observation leads me to the conclusion that it must be an exceptionally large Butterscotch Finch. It is identified by the color in the background. They are very rare. ;-)

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Hey, someone took pictures of ME for a change!! I had an ultrasound, and they took a few dozen images of my gizzards. One part of the hospital was backed up, so they found room for me in... Maternity. Yes, maternity. After I was done, the technician escorted me back out to the waiting room, and I caught the eyes of an expectant couple. I patted my belly and said, "It's a boy."

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My wife chuckled and muttered, "You're so embarrassing." (big grin)

ant rant

Today's post is (ahem) "a contribution from a guest blogger." Enjoy.

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The day began like any other day. All I wanted, was to do my work, and mind my own business... and be left alone. Believe me; I am no adventurer. About mid-day, after a long climb up the peonies, we went right to work, trying to open up the big buds. Everything was right as rain until this frightening thing grabbed the stem and shook me off of my work station.

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Placing me on the sidewalk, he barked instructions to an equally horrific, but smaller creature. This smaller one pressed a long copper strand across my back, so that I could not run away. Oh, I dodged it a few times at first, but it was persistent, and eventually trapped me. The original beast fashioned a loop with that same type of strand, and fixed that between my thorax and abdomen. Curse those opposable thumbs!! I tried to wrestle out of the copper shackle, but all my effort was in vain.

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Next, it constructed a laboratory where I feared it might perform all manner of sadistic experiments on me. I have heard of these things from scout ants passing through from other colonies. We dismissed them as fables, but they tell of a glass disc that focuses the sun's energy into a destructive beam that causes the victims to burn and explode. I kid you not; that's what they said! Now, I found myself immobilized under what I could only presume to be one of these disc blasters.

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Faced with imminent annihilation, I was determined to go out boldly. Mustering up all of my intestinal fortitude, I would look this opponent straight on. Fixing all my eyes straight ahead, I would deny him the gratification of seeing any fear whatsoever. Then... there was a light, but it did not come from the glass disc. Instead, it came from a smaller device that was only slightly warm. While at first, I thought I was to be experimented on by an evil mastermind, now I realized that I was the prisoner of a witless moron. The poor thing evidently did not know how to operate the infamous disc blaster.

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At this point, you are probably wondering how I got away. That is the strangest component to my story, as I fully expected that my captor would squish me underfoot, or cover me with chocolate and eat me. More fables?? No, I truly believe these creatures are capable of such atrocities. But no... instead, it carried me from his laboratory, back atop the peonies, and loosed the wire from my midsection. I was free!! I was on the wrong flower bud, but I was free!

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I appreciate the opportunity to tell my story. Good day to you all.

miscellany

Bad guys beware. Some companies are now using ninja birdies to protect their staff and property. This fearsome fighter was so focused on patrolling the lot, that it did not care that I was taking its picture. Usually a ninja will kill you if you take a picture.

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In addition to the hidden birdies, they have installed these menacing gargoyles. I tell you, I have rarely felt so intimidated as when walking past this corner.

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Humpty Dumpty... was pushed. And that's all I have to say about that.

pot o' gold

I wonder if you can help me with this whole "pot of gold" thing. The legend is that the leprechauns hide a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, right? Okay, so I found the end of a rainbow. But before I dive into chilly waters and risk a reprimand from the park district... which end of the rainbow has the gold? Plus, is it any rainbow, or do leprechauns stay in Ireland? Please... if you have a leprechaun friend, try to get this information for me, so that we can abscond this legendary loot.

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But if you can't help me with that, I'll be fine. This weekend's marriage conference reminded me that I received a gift from God 22 years ago. (That gift is the fine lady we refer to as "Mrs. Craver.") My wife and I had a great time these past three days, and when we got back to the kids Sunday afternoon, we all took a walk to the park.

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The dog in the photo belongs to my sister-in-law. As you can see, she likes to "hug." To do that, she'll nuzzle up to a person, and lean on them hard, and stay there. I am not really a big lover of dogs, but when my s.i.l. needed a new home for her dear pet, I was happy to oblige as a way to demonstrate how much I care for Mrs. Craver's little sister. I think they said this dog is a Shepherd/Grayhound mix, and she is 15 years old. I'm glad that "old girl" is happy in our home. Speaking of German Shepherds...

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Two guys were walking their dogs-one had a German Shepherd and the other had a Chihuahua. The man with the Shepherd suggested going into a bar for a drink. The other man said, "They're not going to let dogs into the bar."

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The first guy said, "No? Watch this."

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So he put on some dark glasses, acted like the German Shepherd was a seeing-eye dog, walked into the bar, and ordered a drink. And no one said anything. So the second guy took out some dark glasses, slipped them on, and walked his Chihuahua into the bar.

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The bartender said, "Sorry, we don't allow dogs in here."

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And the man said, "It's okay. It's my seeing-eye dog."

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The bartender laughed and said, "This Chihuahua is your seeing-eye dog?"

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And the guy said, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

tiger in my yard

The markings on this yellow crocus are so cool. It's nature's way of telling predators to stay away. They think it's a miniature tiger. It's worked out very nicely so far.

squirrel man

Yes, I realize this photo doesn't look normal. Here is the back story... A squirrel hibernates in a radioactive vent from your local nuclear power plant. Later, a young man goes to the park to feed the squirrels, and gets bit by the glowing furball. Next thing you know, this dude is climbing walls and snacking on acorns! Can you see a greenish glow about this guy? It's not because of the new green screen toy I recently acquired... nooo, it is because of the radioactive glow.

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It was not as easy to "find" this as I originally expected, so I do not know how many more such scenes we will happen upon.

fowl territory

Does it look to you like random clouds hovering over this tree, or is the tree actually smoking? It looks like it's smoking, doesn't it?

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This tree stands out from the rest of the landscape, and serves as a special landmark on my way home from work. Frequently, it will hold lots of birds, and I have tried numerous times to photograph it while it is full of those birds, but one skittish little freak will scream "fire!" and the rest of them mindlessly panic. I might be left with one or two deaf or dead birds, and then it is not worth the difficulty of finding a place to pull over here.

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When the sun is shining low on a clear day, the amber light adds drama to these bare limbs. You will see this tree again, if I can ever get the feathery mob to sit still for me.

frozen embryo

We did not make a snowman this year. Not-a-one. D1 used to make snow bumps in the backyard, and they were as cute as anything you've ever seen. I have an idea in mind of what a snowman should look like if I could build one. The problem is, that I do not usually have the time or energy. When it snows hard, I need to shovel the driveway around my work schedule, and I'm just too tuckered-out to do anything more with the snow after that. I wish there was some way to make a snowman without having to break my back shoveling.

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So here's what I did... I selected the best snowman and snowwoman from this area. (One might expect it to be difficult to find a snowwoman, but Mr. Snowman was willing to use an internet dating service, so it wasn't too bad.) They were introduced, and liked each other. I performed a marriage ceremony, and before they melted, they donated a frozen embryo. This is Junior, in the photo above.

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Looking again, I see that we are dealing with fraternal twins. Notice the runt near the upper-left corner. I think I'll call them Julius and Vincent.

scratch-n-sniff

A lot of cold snow has recently been dumped on portions of this (ahem) warm globe. This little splash of color is especially for those who are in snowladen regions.

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If you are not in an area that is currently snowy, you are welcome to enjoy the view, but you will not have access to today's embedded special feature, which is a potpourri fragrance.

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Now, are you one who has suffered an overload of snow? Simply scratch or rub the image of flowers on your computer monitor to release the smell of these flowers. Be careful not to damage your property there. Can't smell it? Gee, I'm sorry; you seem to be catching a cold.

czar craver

One of my friends wishes that she could buy the country of Lichtenstein. It is not for sale, and even if it was, she could not afford it. But did you know that I briefly conquered the former Soviet Union? I decided to give it up, because they actually speak a different language there. It is not just English with a funny accent. Who knew?!

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This weekend, S2 laid out a bunch if Lego people. (He has been studying the World Wars in school.) He asked me which group would win if they had a world war. Nobody. The strongest force he had was the bad Star Wars guys. They had a larger force and far more firepower than any other group. I didn't want them to win, so I stayed up Sunday night, typing out a strategy for the good guys to win. That way we would have the least amount of losses (even among the enemy) and it wouldn't come down to the evil emperor and a couple Super Battle Droids as the sole survivors.

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I like building Legos with him. He likes when I use those newly built pieces to play with him. I guess this was meeting him somewhere in the middle.

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I have a brother who is really good at strategy. I wonder what he would think of the plan I constructed.

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Oh, and I was kidding about overthrowing the former U.S.S.R. You know that, right? The pic came from funphotobox.com.

ad hoc adventures

Everything should go back to normal today, except for catching up on all the stuff that never seems to be quite caught-up in the first place. Friends, I missed you; I really did. My manager used a phrase one too many times, and we turned it into a joke. Can you guess what that phrase was?

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The time away was a work-related trip to a major missions conference. I sold books there as part of a team that set up book-of-the-day stations at strategic locations. For our central base of operations, we used a locker room as our ad hoc headquarters, and called it "the Batcave." This wasn't just any old locker room, mind you! This was none other than the locker room for the St. Louis Rams' Cheerleaders! As part of this book team, I was given all kinds of access to the site, and (being an assistant manager) I even had my very own key to the cheerleaders' locker room.

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Don't worry; I didn't do anything foolish. There were no cheerleaders in that locker room any time we were there, and even if there were, I have too good a thing with my wife to put my marriage in jeapardy.

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[continued...]

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There was talk about seeing this trip as an ad hoc adventure. My adventure began before even making it to the bus. For starters, I lost my itinerary. Then, on the drive to the bus, our minivan was doing a terrible job of keeping a good grip on the road, because of a thick coating of fresh, slippery snow. We lost traction on a side street, and slid into a ditch.

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Stepping outside to assess the situation, I observed that we were just inches from a stop sign. We didn't hit it--thank the Lord! Maybe if I just move straight back enough... no good: landscaping pillars (like railroad ties) are jutting up from the ground behind me, and I couldn't possibly drive over them. It looks like I'm pinned for good and this slippery snow won't let me get out.

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Just then, a red pickup drives up and offers to help. (Correction: the people inside the pickup offered to help. I didn't hear audible voices from motor vehicles.) These folks lived across the street from this ditch, and the lady said of her husband that he does this kind of stuff all the time. He tied a chain to our rear axle, and we were freed in less time than it took you to read this story. Well, almost.

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One adventure down, what's next?

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[continued...]

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Another adventure was an ad hoc journey to India. Not really--let's go back a bit. "Somebody" forgot to pack his deodorant, and had to go looking around downtown St. Louis for a convenience store. Along the way, he (I, that is) noticed an Indian restaurant. I have never eaten at an Indian restaurant.

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That night, my crew asked for suggestions on a place to eat. I told them about the place that I found, and that it was just a little less than a mile away. We walked (in freezing temps) a little different than my first trip, and when I got to Olive Street, I wasn't sure whether to turn right or left. It would not have been of great consequence, except that we were cold and hungry. I chose to turn right. After two blocks, I realized that it was the wrong direction. We had to turn back. My companions started grumbling. You know what? It's not easy to reassure a crowd (3 + me) of ravenous men who are finally getting a nice dinner after working all day Saturday and Sunday. Anyhoo, we finally made it to the restaurant...

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and it was closed.

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[continued...]

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My friends did not roast me on an ad hoc funeral pyre. They're so gracious! Let's go back to that convenience store. I couldn't find the deodorant with the shampoos and soaps. Instead, I found a sign that indicated that the deodorants are located behind the front registers, and see cashiers for assistance. What?!! That is so weird. The deodorant now has the behind-the-counter stigma of intimate or naughty things. "Um, yes... I'll have a newspaper and some Chiclets and... (mumbling) deodorant." The nervous customer is mortified as the clerk goes on the p.a. to get a price check on deodorant. Great--now the whole store knows that I'm interested in one of those behind-the-counter items! Catching a glance from an elderly gentleman, I instinctively offer a polite "how do." He just nods. I know what he's thinking... "Hello back, Mr. Stinky Pits!"

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Glad to be back, now let's see what kind of mess waits for me at the desk...

an historical event

It's party time!!

Hey y'all, we're making history here. This is my 500th post! To celebrate, I'm throwing a cyber party. Everyone's welcome! As this is a party, I suggest that you check box to email followup comments. Have fun with each other's comments! The more the merrier.

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Here's what I want you to do: Please bring a friend. By that I mean, someone famous from history. You may explain why if you want to, but if you don't include an explanation, that's fine.

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Plus, describe for us what you brought to the party.

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Oh, and please remove your shoes as you step inside.

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[Mt. Rushmore effect was from photofunia.com.]