Wednesday, September 02, 2009

catching bugs

[click image for a bigger bug]

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A gas man walks hurriedly past our hero's front lawn.

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Unexpectedly, Sam's watch beeps. He looks carefully at the timepiece. His wife's expression is concerned, and she asks if he absolutely has to go right this minute. "Be right back." He smiles, kisses her goodbye, and grabs his sunglasses and car keys.

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This is Secret Agent Man. The watch indicated that a bug was planted by an evil Canadian mastermind named Alan, who tries to steal Sam's jokes. As Sam's eyes are shielded by the sunglasses, he glances up and down the street, careful not to turn his head. It looks clear; maybe the watch malfunctioned. He checks again it indicates a device ten feet away at 'twelve o-clock.' He walks. Six, four, two... "Aha!! Found it" he thinks.

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There is a big, juicy-looking cicada clinging to the buds of his juniper bush. Nonchalantly, he removes the bug, and squishes it underfoot, pretending not to notice that its exoskeleton houses transistors instead of slimy goo.

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From the very end of the block, an engine cranks and tires peel a little as the driver hastily splits the scene. Yup... black hummer. He probably has his goofy cat with him. Blast that pesky evil punster! Just for show, Secret Agent Man takes his car to the corner store and back. When he returns, the cicada is gone-- vanished without a trace. His jokes are safe... for now.

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No folks, I haven't suddenly decided to switch to writing corny fiction. (I can imagine the big sighs of relief from that.) It's just that I had this macro shot and didn't know what words to put with it. (There really is a Canadian Alan who tells puns; that part is true.) As for the rest of this fabrication... well, I had to say something...

8 comments:

imac said...

Eh man, Not a bad story teller, but yer gotta be better than that to claim the trophy from me,lol.

This Is My Blog - fishing guy said...

Craver: No excuse is needed for artistic licence. I like the neat Cicada photo. I wish they would get lower more often.

mommanator said...

was u in the bug juice?

Craver Vii said...

You know, Imac. It would be so cool to sit with blogging buddies like you, Fishing Guy and Mommanator, sipping the proverbial bug juice, telling stories.

Hahaha Fishing Guy, I'll bet there are LOTS of people who wish even harder that they don't get any lower than they already are.

No Mommanator. No bug juice for the whacky inspiration. Not even blueberry wine. Seriously, I got the idea from my daughter. D2 has been writing short fiction stories lately, and that's probably where the idea to create a story came from.

Your EG Tour Guide said...

Scary how your mind works sometimes (maybe all the time), Craver!

But I admit I enjoyed your writing.

Shammickite said...

So when do you start writing the novel?

thekingfamily said...

Ugh cicadas. I can't get past the photo. They're demon flies. It's simply unnatural. *shudder*

Craver Vii said...

So glad you enjoyed it, EG. Mwaaaa ha ha haaaaa...

Oh Shammy, I would love to be able to put a good book together someday, but I have no desire for writing fiction and I know my limitations.

So how do you reeeally feel about them, Mary? I went to take a close-up picture of milkweed last night, and you should see what I found. [I apologize in advance to anyone who doesn't like bugs.]